Solitude vs. Loneliness: the benefits of self-reflection

By infiniteone NeuroCognitive 0 Comments

A lot of us avoid being alone with our thoughts because it makes us uncomfortable or even bored. However, there are significant psychological benefits to self-reflection.

The culture we live in is hyper-focused on connectivity and networking. But sometimes, being alone is a necessary break.

Why we need some time alone

While relationships are one of the biggest sources of happiness, entertainment and love, the time you spend with your family, friends and colleagues should be in balance with the time spent with yourself.

Solitude is the perfect time to:

Creativity and new ideas. When you stop and think, you can more easily solve problems or come up with new ideas. A lot of writers and artists spend time alone to develop their ideas.
Self-reflection. Knowing yourself is the key to regulating emotions. Knowing what makes you tick means you can make yourself happy and have a better quality of life.
Be better at making friends. It might sound like a paradox, but having time alone means you can better appreciate the time you spend with others and what you want from the relationships in your life.
Make plans. People spend a lot of time planning vacations, weddings or parties, but few take the time to plan on what they want to achieve in life. Having the space to plan means you can peer ahead into your future. Humans work very well when they have a set goal and a deadline in which to accomplish it.

Solitude deprivation can harm your mental and emotional health. Anxiety and depression are a common side effect of not having enough time for yourself.

How to reclaim your solitude

Put your phone down.

If you’re going out with someone, on a date, with a friend or just for a walk, shut your phone down or leave it behind. Give your full attention to something without pausing every few minutes to check your phone. Even at home, put your phone somewhere safe but out of sight. Do your chores and work without seeing it. Eat dinner without reading or scrolling down all the time.

A lot of people fear being away from their phone in case something bad happens, but let’s face it, it very rarely ever does. If you’re waiting for important news or want to talk to someone, make sure you have an alert set up for it but otherwise try to ignore the phone.

The world we live in today is hyper-connected but we can always choose to take a step back.

Take a long, quiet walk.

As humans, we need to be around green, living things to thrive. Literally! Seeing trees makes us happy¹.

Try to limit the sources of distractions. Resist the urge to listen to a podcast or talk on the phone. Try to be with yourself.

You can find solitude just about anywhere, even a crowded bar. But the more external stimulants there are, the less you can let your own private thoughts surface.

Keep a journal.

Or something to write your thoughts down on (yes, even on the phone, it’s better than social media). Write what’s important to you. How the cute dog you saw on your walk made you smile. What your favorite snack was. What made you sad, angry, stressed. Let it out somewhere you feel safe doing so.

Solitude vs. Isolation

Solitude is not the same thing as isolation.

The two terms may seem to mean the same thing – being alone, but they have vastly different effects on your psychological health.

Being alone doesn’t have to feel lonely.

You can just as easily feel lonely in that same crowded bar from above.

The key difference between these two aspects of ourselves is how it makes us feel. Solitude can be healing, a way to carve a little spot of peace for yourself in a noisy, relentlessly moving world. Isolation can lead to depression, intrusive thoughts, a disconnect from who we are as well as other people.

Be at ease with yourself

Remember that solitude is a choice. Do it to feel better.

The pandemic has made a lot of us feel isolated. This is why it’s more important than ever to nurture the relationships that are dear to you and show kindness to new people.

Meditate

One of the best ways to find solitude and self-discovery is through meditation.

There are many ways to meditate, but we recommend using a Mind Machine for a few minutes every day, as many found that by using such a device opened whole new possibilities for them, including a peaceful living.